


Heaven is wherever Baz Pitch plays his violin

by somewhatevangelical



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Baz plays violin, Kishi Bashi, M/M, Music, fifth year au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 09:49:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15861207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somewhatevangelical/pseuds/somewhatevangelical
Summary: Where does Baz sneak off to every lunch time? Simon had always assumed he had a free period, and was getting there early, but when it turns out he doesn’t, Simon needs to investigate.And what he hears- no, sees- changes his perspective of Baz.His music is just so, so beautiful.Inspired by a line from Call Me By Your Name (the book version), ‘we are not written for one instrument alone. I am not, neither are you.’





	Heaven is wherever Baz Pitch plays his violin

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiiii all  
> Thanks for clicking on it, my fic is unbeta-d and not proofread because I’m lazy   
> Criticism is welcomed, and anything I got wrong please tell me!   
> Would be lovely if you left kudos/a comment :)

‘P.S. we are not written for one instrument alone; I am not, neither are you.’

From Call Me By Your Name

**PENNY**

Most of us are not written for one instrument alone. I am not; playing the viola and piano, I find that sometimes, the viola simply expresses emotion and feeling a piano cannot, and vice versa. But Basil is. He is one of the rare few who takes wholly, takes completely to an instrument. He looks at peace, full of life when he plays his violin. He can convey every emotion and feeling through his playing, and his music makes a sort of warm, fuzzy glow within you- even while he is practising, you feel every emotion he does through his melodies.

 

**SIMON**

This year, I realised that Baz disappears somewhere after lunch every day. So far I’d assumed he had a free period, but Penny mentioned she has Greek with him- after lunch. So he goes somewhere after he eats lunch; probably going to the Catacombs to plot my demise, no doubt.

The next day, I shove down my sandwich even faster than usual.

‘Simon, you’re going to make yourself sick, eating like that,’ Penny chides, looking disapprovingly over her glasses at me. I can see Baz taking his sandwich somewhere; he never eats in the dining hall.

‘Sorry Pen, I’ve got somewhere to go,’ I mutter, getting up and hitting my head in the process. ‘Ouch!’

Penny sighs, and casts a simple **get well soon**. ‘Go wherever, Simon. You aren’t stalking Baz again, are you?’

‘Stalking? I’m not stalking Baz. It’s my duty to make sure he’s not plotting, I’m investigating,’ I state, waving goodbye at Penny. She waves back, and I turn in the direction of the school. Fudge. I can see Baz disappearing into the school, and hurry to follow him. He turns and turns and turns around the school until we’re in a corridor I’ve never seen before. It’s kinda dilapidated- there are noticeboards, but the paper is peeling and the notices are wrinkled and faded. Once Baz has disappeared into one of the rooms off the side, I come round the corner and look at the notice boards.

‘Symphony Orchestra?’ I mutter. Watford doesn’t have any non-sport clubs, as far as I know, and I’ve never been in this part of the school before. What is Baz up to?

I sneak around to the room I saw Baz enter, and peer through the gap in the windows where the blinds haven’t quite covered. Baz is polishing what looks like a long, thin rod of wood- I don’t have a particularly good vantage point. I lie there for a few more minutes, when I see Baz take a violin out of a case. I only know it’s a violin because I’ve seen Penny play her viola, and she gave me an indignant lecture on the differences between a violin and a viola when I said they were basically the same. He plays a few of those slide-y things Penny likes to play on the piano. Scales, I think she calls them. This continues for a few more minutes, and I zone out, listening to him play.

Huh. Maybe he wasn’t plotting after all.

Then-then, something beautiful comes out of the room. I can’t take my eyes off him.

 

**BAZ**

I love my violin. It’s always been the thing I could depend on, the thing I could always turn to to vent my frustrations. When I play, there’s only the music. There is no Mage and no Humdrum and none of the Families. Moreover, no Snow. No blue eyes and bronze hair and moles and freckles.

It’s just me, me and the music.

Currently, I’m practicing a Kishi Bashi song I’ve been working on for a while; it’s called I am the antichrist to you. I love Kishi Bashi- at some point I’d like to be able to play all his music, but my teacher insists I learn some classical music at least, while I’m still developing my skills.

My practice is the only place I can be free of Snow. He’s taken to following me incessantly, like a moth attracted to light. I can hear him following me to the Catacombs at night, watching me study, and, conversely, studying my every move.

Believe it or not, I’m not plotting his demise. Ever. That’s my family’s job, not mine.

I let myself get lost in the music, before I realise it’s almost time for afternoon lessons.

 

**SIMON**

When I hear the music stop, I snap out of my trance and scramble back to the hall, where I find Penny engrossed in a textbook. She doesn’t even look up at me, but I can’t bring myself to care- Baz’s music is trapped in my head. I can’t get the sound out of my ears- it wasn’t a beautiful sound; it was pained, and the music felt like open wounds and like fire. But there was something so raw, so real, so enthralling about it. Something that felt like I could see into Baz’s soul when he played, or like I could look into his eyes and see the fire inside of him.

He was beautiful.

He wasn’t sharp and bony and washed out anymore. He looked- no, felt, full of fire.

 

When he returns to our room after classes, he’s wearing the same smirk he always wears.

‘Failed anymore classes today, Snow?’ He taunts. I don’t say anything back, but I can’t take my eyes off him. I can’t help but remember what I saw earlier. How beautiful he was with his violin. But when he spells my shoelaces together, I snap out of it.

‘Fuck off, Baz,’ I mutter, not even bothering anymore. I hop back to my bed and take off my shoes, and lie back while Baz enters the bathroom to change for football practice.

Once he’s left, I try and remember what the music sounded like, and I go and find Penny. That’s what I do in any situation when I don’t know what to do- I find Penny.

When I find her, I sing her what I remember.

‘Simon, are you sure that’s what it sounded like? It’s most definitely not classical music. Perhaps something romantic...’ she muses. ‘Anyway, why are you asking me? Where did you hear it?’

‘Oh....just someone in the corridor humming it,’ I say, somewhat unconvincingly.

 

The next day, I go back to the music room.

I listen. I watch Baz, stare at the slate-grey eyes. But he can’t see me.

 

I go to the music room again.

And the day after

And the day after that

And after that

I listen to him play, but always leave before he sees me.

It’s like being on drugs. I’m addicted to his music, to the raw emotion in his face I can see there. The raw emotion that’s closed off, blocked off whenever I talk to him.

I’ve stopped following him to the Catacombs. Something about it just felt wrong, felt invasive.

After I watch him for two weeks, I go to Penny.

‘Pen, did you know Baz plays the violin?’ I ask.

‘Mmhm...yes, we’re both in orchestra,’ she says, engrossed in her textbook.

‘You knew? Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘You never asked. Does this have something to do with the melody you asked me to identify the other day?’

‘Maybe...?’ I say, not looking into her eyes. Penny has a sort of state that forces you to tell the truth. Or it forces me, anyhow.

‘Well. To be honest, what I’ve seen of Basil’s repertoire is pretty normal. Mostly romantic music, though.’ She muses.

‘Penny. Have you seen him play?’

‘I have, Simon- what about it?’

‘Don’t....don’t you think it’s beautiful?’

‘Is this where you’ve been sneaking off to each lunchtime?’ She inquires, looking over her glasses at me.

‘Erm. Maybe?’

‘Simon, I keep saying you need to give Basil some space. He’s also a person, you know.’

‘But he looks....he looks so pretty when he plays,’ I say, thinking back to when I’d first seen him play.

‘Simon, if I didn’t know you were better, I’d think you have a crush on Basil,’ Penny giggles, looking at me.

‘Mmmmm....maybe,’ I whisper. I hadn’t thought of it like that.

‘Wait, seriously?’ Penny says, a look of thought crossing her face. ‘To be fair, though, it makes a lot of sense. You were always obsessed with Baz, from day one, but it’s gotten a little worse recently, since you and Agatha broke it off, and with your stalking...’ she trails off.

I bury my face in my hands. How could I fall for someone like Baz? He’s evil. An evil, plotting vampire.

But damn, does he look beautiful when he plays. I hurriedly wave goodbye to Penny, who smirks at me and I hear back to our room. Baz is already there, back from football practice and showered. His hair is wet and hanging in strands around his face- it makes him look so much better. So much less snooty, and more like the boy who plays all those beautiful tunes.

I stare at him for a few minutes before he turns around.

‘What are you looking at?’ He snarls.

**BAZ**

Simon has been staring at me. I can feel his eyes boring holes into my back.

I turn round and snarl something inconsequential at him, donning my mask. I turn back, but Simon’s hand is tapping my shoulder.

I turn around and level and glare at him, and he visibly seems to shrink. I don’t like having to hurt him, but it’s the only way I can avoid him finding out about how I feel.

He looks everywhere except at me for what seems forever, but...

Suddenly, Simon Snow is kissing me.

What the fuck??

 

**SIMON**

I run from the room. I run to Ebb’s, but there’s no one in. So I sit on the steps.

I don’t know why I kissed Baz. Just for one moment, I thought I could see the boy who played violin there. Not the face of the Old Families. Not the son of Natasha Pitch. But Baz. Just Baz.

The kiss was like fire. Like electricity coursing through my veins, like Baz’s magic, which burns.

It was beautiful. But Baz didn’t kiss back...but he didn’t immediately kill me, either. That’s something.

I wait until Ebb comes back from herding the goats, and I stay at hers for the night.

I can’t face Baz. He probably hates me more than before.

 

**BAZ**

I wait for Simon to come back the entire night, but he’s not back, even after I fed. Why did he kiss me? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in any way complaining- but the kiss was so brief before he ran off.

He was probably dared to do it by Bunce. Sounds about right.

I doze off at about four A.M., when I can’t keep my eyes open any more.

 

**SIMON**

I come back to the room early. Six o’clock, to be exact. Baz sleeps right through my morning routine, which is pretty unusual, but I wouldn’t put it past him to feign sleep while I was there simply to avoid me. I enter the bathroom and attempt to brush my hair, which just leaves it frizzy and worse looking. I turn on the tap to smooth it down when I see that Baz has woken up. He’s leaning in the doorframe of the bathroom, an unreadable expression on his face. I simply stare at him.

‘Why?’ A single word escapes Baz’s throat.

‘Why what?’ I feign innocence, hoping it will buy me time in dealing with....this.

‘You know what, Snow,’ he replies, with no bite.

‘Because....because....wellisawyouplayandyoulookedreallybeautifulandpennyhelpedmerealiseilikeyou,’ I rush out.

Baz’s eyebrows furrow.

‘You....you heard me play?’

‘Er. Yeah,’ I say, somewhat lamely.

 

**BAZ**

Violin is something sacred to me. It’s personal. And that Snow saw me play....it’s like baring my soul to him. It’s not all bad, I suppose. He...he likes me now?

I am beyond confused.

 

**SIMON**

‘So,’ I continue, ‘I’m...I’m sorry if you don’t like me back. This doesn’t ever have to happen a-again,’ I stammer, looking at the floor. Baz’s eyebrows are still furrowed and I expect him at any point to punch me, regardless of the Anathema. I’m about to leave the bathroom when he puts a hand up.

‘Wait...’ he says, finally looking up at me.

‘Mmhm?’ I say, preparing myself for whatever he has to say.

‘I’ve wanted you forever ...I’d like to give us a chance. Whatever this is, anyway.’

I wasn’t expecting that reply. I’d expected more to be pushed down the stairs.

 

**BAZ**

I actually have a chance with Simon Snow. I thought for sure I would be doomed when I made friends with him. I knew for sure that he could never love me back, but the one thing I love as much as Simon Snow brought us together.

My music.

 

I draw his body flush to mine and kiss him, threading my hands throughout hair and touching every freckle and every mole I’ve always wanted to touch.

It feels like heaven.

 

**SIMON**

 

We kiss and kiss and cuddle until Baz rolls over, and realises we’ve missed morning classes. We’ve spent five hours in bed. Wego our separate ways to lunch, and Penny smirks at me as I sit down.

‘Busy morning? Both you and Baz were gone...’ she trails off, seeing the happy expression on my face. ‘Did something happen between you and Baz?’

We’d agreed not to tell the school...but Penny is my best friend, after all. We’d agreed never to keep anything from the other, and she wouldn’t tell anyone, anyhow.

‘Yeah. We’re kinda...together.’

‘Oh Si,’ she sighs, looking at me. ‘Does this mean I won’t have to hear you complaining about Baz’s plotting anymore?’

I blush and turn away, looking at the grey eyed, raven-haired boy sitting across the dining hall. I meet his eyes, and we share a secret smile before we split up for class. I eat my lunch, normal time with Penny, and after I slip into Baz’s practice room. He is totally absorbed in the music, only looking up when the click of the door disturbs the beautiful flow of the music. He looks up at me, and gives me a small smile. He’s still working on that song I heard the first time I watched him; I asked him this morning, what it was. It’s supposedly a song by Kishi Bashi. I’ve never heard of Kishi Bashi, but I intend to find out more about him. I’ll borrow Penny’s phone; Baz says his music is beautiful. Better than his. Supposedly, but I find it hard to believe anything could be more beautiful than Baz and his music.

I let myself get lost in the sound.

He’s so beautiful, and I can’t believe he’s mine. This all made me realise that all those years of obsession with him were probably something else. Something akin to love.

And in that moment, I know more surely than ever, that Simon Snow loves Baz Pitch.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks! What did you think? It just popped into my head


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